An interesting mix up
by DelinkersWithFire
Summary: Just a one shot. Sorry but I had to. The thought was hilarious to me.
Sakura cried out in frustration as trees crashed around her. She wasn't fast enough.

"Dammit just let me _catch you_!" She grunted. She was exhausted, sweat and dirt stung her eyes but she was beyond caring. She'd never been so close to catching this Uchiha before. Let alone _any_ Uchiha for that matter.

Her silent target just cast her a wary look and darted off again. It was clear by his labored breathing that he didn't have much fight left in him either. Both their steps were unsteady, and their moves increasingly desperate.

She closed her eyes, steadying herself against an enormous tree. _Feel the vibrations. Feel, the vibrations. GODDAMMIT FEEL- oh._ A sure smile swept across her face. _There you are._

The huge tree groaned as she channeled the last of her Chakra through her feet. As she shot through the air she was dimly aware of the aforementioned tree disintegrating in her wake.

His figure grew closer and Sakura braced heavily for impact. Maybe not heavily enough though, because the impact _hurt_. Teeth rattling, brain jiggling, tit crushing kind of hurt. It was unreal.

But very quickly became real when their gathered momentum kept them going. Rolling and bouncing and _crunching_ right off a steep drop. A very, very steep drop. Sakura had no more Chakra to spare to stop their painful descent and by the looks of it, Itachi was out cold.

 _Well fuck._

She tried grabbing onto him but it just wasn't happening. One sharp, white hot pain to the neck later and she was out.

The first thing that came to mind was the throbbing pain in her neck. The second thing was that she felt ... wet? _Oh kami if this is blood PLEASE don't let it be mine._

Groaning she put her hand on the ground, and came face to face with a pair of rather large chesticles, jiggling flamboyantly almost insulting her to her face.

"What the hell?" She hissed, poking the offending mammories rather roughly.

Itachi stirred uncomfortably beneath her. One second out cold, the next, bright red eyes snapped open staring deeply at Sakura.

"Who are you?" He asked evenly, noticing immediately that something was wrong with his voice.

"I could ask YOU the same question." She said aggressively to the boobs in front of her.

A pause.

"I didn't realize I was being chased by a man." Itachi stated plainly.

Sakura looked up, completely scandalized. Mouth opening wider and wider in offense. Putting her arms up to her chest she huffed. "Listen here you.. you _perv!_ I may be a little _flat chested_ , but that is no reason to-" It dawned on her that her chest was more than just a little flat. A slow, creeping noise rose to the back of her throat.

"Wha-" Itachi began, but was cut off almost immediately by the most unsettling, ridiculous scream he'd ever heard. And it only escalated louder and louder til he was sure that he was way past deaf and moving onto complete blindness.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Sakura wheezed, trying desperately to catch her breath.

"How-"

"You FIEND! I KNEW there was something off about your your yo- ABOMINATIONS! ABOMINATIONS!" She jabbed the detestable tater tots with a scorned finger. She was so sure. She'd heard of myths and ridiculous legends- things she'd assumed Tsunade told people who weren't so well endowed to give them Itty bitty titty nightmares. The ridicule! The utter ridiculous BLASPHEMY!

"A WITCH!" She shrieked!

"Wha-"

"WIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The screaming had gone past being too much at this point.

Itachi just stared. More confused and irritated than he'd probably ever been in his life.

"You. Stole them. From. Me."

Notes: Okay I'm going to have add a chapter after all. Didn't have enough time to finish. I initially wanted it to be sasuke, but in my head he just doesn't seem like he'd give much of a reaction. It's done after this next chapter though. I wish I could just beam my dreams so you could SEE what I saw. My subpar writing will only get you so far. Anywho until then.


End file.
